No need to thank me…just spank me!

A Curious Angel

Angel

Well we are entering the quiet week as folks tend to call Easter over here  so I thought I’d present you with an angelic picture and well, this is about as angelic as this girl gets. Anyway I promise you the week will not be quiet for me – and hopefully not you either – because there’s so many kinks and so little time, yes? OK so…I’d like to start the week off with something that i have been thinking about a great deal. And that is the Ds relationship and protocol. In every BDSM themed novel I have read, I have found that either 1. people have little imagination or 2. the average D/s relationship is pretty much like a well known choreography. Now truth be told, I may have read a lot of shit (yes I have!) but you gotta go through piles of muck to find one pearl. Lately I have discovered a new author that I really like – Sierra Cartwright –  because she writes about dominance and submission on a level that I can relate to (curious girl meets experienced male Dom – cliché but it’s how i roll).

Now to my pondering: a lot of what I have read seems to dwell a lot around the idea of protocol and rituals pretty much based on old classics like “The Story of O”. OK, so a typical scenario would be: Dom comes home, naked sub kneels by the entrance waiting – looking down on the floor, Dom walks up to her, sub kneels and kisses His boots, still looks down until He allows her to look up at Him, Dom attaches her leash and walks her around, sub crawls until given permission to walk, Dom and sub has dinner or some form of meal during which the sub entertains Him with something kinky including her spreading her legs alot and being erotic and arousing, then after the meal it’s time for play, sub kneels again in some dungeon/playroom whatever and lifts her hair, Dom attaches all sorts of implements on her, ties or chains her up and makes sure her collar is in place and then they have some form of scene or punishment if the subs failed to please her Master, during which at some point she will be begging to cum. And so it goes on until finally they end in bed, and if the Master is a cool one he performs aftercare during which the sub mellows out.

The only other alternative to this kind of ritual seems to be those who like their relationships to be as vanilla-looking as possible but what they lead is a very 1950s type husband/wife-marriage where the Dude goes off to work and the wife stays home and does chores, waits on her Man like a good girl and generally has a pretty quiet life with no worries other than looking pretty for the hubby and spreading her legs whenever. He makes all desicions and she just goes with the flow. The ties and restraints is all in the mind – she is bound by His will. Which to me seems kinda boring (not being judgemental here, I’m just sayin) but it’s like  a Tammy Wynette song being sung really slow and whiny.

So in a way I see the demand or craving for rituals because the first relation described is by far the most interesting one. But does anyone have any other takes on how a D/s protocol can be kept fresh and interesting? I mean wouldn’t you just hate if the flogging becomes just another “chore” to endure? I would love to hear about it!

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3 responses

  1. One of the best ways is to have both parties involved (or multiple) fill out a detailed “BDSM likes and limits” checklist questionnaire. Once completed, you can use it as a road map to “explore” each other’s fantasies and you end up doing many new things. Some are so detailed that is would keep the D/s relationship fresh for many months! ~ Sir Dominic Dawes

    March 25, 2013 at 6:53 am

  2. Weylund

    Wow. Is that what is being written in books? I’ve not read them, so really don’t have an idea…lol. However, what I can tell you is this: life in a D/s relationship is not like either of those scenarios in our home!! Nor, is it like that in other homes of D/s couples I know in real life. As I posted before, we are a poly relationship with a foundation of Head of Household.

    In regards to the first scenario, that might be nice in terms of D/s play for an evening. Such as, I call…tell them what I want… and we play the whole scene out from my coming home until bed. But everyday? They have jobs, there are kids, and to expect it all the time is simply unrealistic. Well, I guess unless the dominant is wealthy enough and wishes that type of relationship.

    Even being in a HoH relationship, the second scenario would not work either. Again, there is work, kids, etc. As a dominant friend of mine once said, “I may not work a few days, she will. If after being home all day, she comes home, and I don’t have things around the house cleaned up and dinner is not ready, I’m not being dominant… I’m just being an asshole.”

    In my opinion, a D/s relationship still involves the give and take of vanilla relationships. Do I need to watch the kids? Run them to school? Do I need to clean up a mess the kids made because their busy with work? Do I need to cook dinner because their work has them flooded right now? And trust me, they have more demanding jobs than I do!! LOL

    Now, some of that being said, they generally take care of those things because they do have time, they love doing them, and like to see me relax. But if needed, I won’t sit on my butt and demand they do it.

    Keeping things fresh, in my opinion, is the dominant’s job. One way is to not let protocol go to hell. Reminding when someone slips. There are times when I see them beginning to act out of character, and I know I need to “tighten the leash” as they call it. This is not them topping from the bottom, I just see the signs before they are even aware, and tightening up usually brings them right in and makes them feel comfy. There are also little things that can be done to keep it fresh. Making them wear their plugs reminds them of me, clamping them up for 15 minutes at a time, every hour, throughout the day is nice. Or, they have those vibrating eggs and I make them use them all day, on AUTO, and not allowed to cum. There is also maintenance spankings every week, and aftewards, quiet time or play time. We can just as easily go into a scene or all cuddle on the bed and watch a movie. Sort of like a date night 🙂

    Point being… regular life gets in the way… just as it does in vanilla relationships… and a couple, family, etc. need to MAKE the time and put forth the effort to stay connected.

    March 25, 2013 at 1:36 pm

  3. Wow Weylund, you always give such great feedback! Thank you so much for your insightsfull comments – yea I guess thinking a D/s relation to be like in a novel is like thinking a vanilla relationship would be like in a romance novel LOL. (but then again I am a young romantic) But I do totally get what you say about keeping the flame alive – I like that, a lot more people should do that even in a vanilla relationship love needs to be nurtured. And adults need their adult time.
    I’m now going to walk around my office with a silly smile on my face for the rest of the day picturing you guys all cuddeling on the bed watchinga movie – favourably a kinky one 🙂

    March 25, 2013 at 2:21 pm

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