No need to thank me…just spank me!

Book review: “Play Something Dancy”

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How often do you read a book that starts with a raunchier line than:

«Are you going to fuck me?»

Dee Simon’s book «Play Something Dancy. The Tragic Tales of a Strip Club DJ» takes us through the life and times of a stripclub DJ – a sordid yet interesting tale of the sadly hilarious life that goes on in places where women take their clothes off for money.

Simon who spun decks under the moniker Dirty Sanchez  around San Francisco for five years must have taken a lot of notes because his observations are detailed and to the point. Extremely so.

For  someone who works as a stripper and lapdancer in both worlds – yes yours truly – the stories in Simon’s book are very familiar – this «oh man this guy gets me» had me glued to my Kindle from the first page to the last. And it’s especially hliarious when the author describes the clientele who frequents strip revues and their attitude towards the staff, especially the dancers.

He tells of the lonely and lovesick dudes: guys who come in hope of chatting up girls and dont tip a penny (loosers), the talkers: guys who tries to get girls attention without tipping, but excusing his cheap self with: “oh I get on so well just talking with the ladies”  (time wasters) and guys who thinks they will get laid in a strip club (delusionals). Simon sums it up just right: A strip club is where you og to PAY to watch women take their clothes off. The front row is called the erection section for a reason – give a little greenery for the scenery  because: sitting there and not tiping is a BIG offence to the girls. These type of guys come to strip clubs all the time. I mean like ALL the time. «Can i meet you AFTER you come off stage?» – who hasnt heard that line before? If you are a dancer worth your salt that’s the guys you have to stay the hell away from, because most likely all they want is to get laid and they think strippers are cheap. Some people need to grow up and realize dancers dance because they like it but it’s still a job. Like Dee Simon says in his book: Not tipping when sat front row at the stage is like driving through a fastfood drive-in and not ordering any food.  Its totally on the nose.

Then there is the music. Any musiclover will enjoy Simon’s musings about what music to play and when. Assuming all DJs have deeper  than average love of music playing gigs in strip club where people primarely come to see tits and ass must must be one of the least gratifying jobs on the planet. And as our man soon found out there’s no accounting for taste either. A great number of girls loved to dance to Jodeci, R. Kelly and H-Town rather than Guns’n’Roses and Mötley Crüe  – while he himself loathed r&b.  Simon – if you EVER read this let me tell you: you could play me hairband metal all night and I’d love you all the more for it. R&b in a stripclub is the devil.

Numerous times he had me in knots laughing and for that alone I would recommend this book to anyone who likes a good read. You will find yourself cringing and howling with laughter like a loony alone in your bedroom at night.  For those who’s never worked in a club I still expect it would still be of high entertainment value. All I can say is download it. Now.

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