Talk Dirty To Me: Miss Kianna
The other week I have the pleasure to talk to the gorgeous Miss Kianna Lifestyle. She is one of the fiercest Dommes i know (her blog is a MUST-read) – all I can think about when She enters a room is sex sex and well sex. When She agreed to do this interview i almost creamed. It’s an honor to be allowed to pick Her brain and ask Her all those things i probably would not dare ask anyone else about Her chosen lifestyle and views on BDSM in general. I decided a desert island would be an appropriate place to meet, so as you can see from the photo below we flew in gracefully. She sat on Her guilded throne while I took notes on my knees of course. To set the mood I put on a some music of her choice: Enigma: “Principles of Lust”. And She talked to me – about discovering Her dominant nature – through among other things telling young lovers to masturbate (yes!!) and watching Miss Piggy on TV. Ever wished you was Kermit?? Then lovely people – DO read on!
Sugar: – Hello Miss Kianna, thank You for talking to me today, please rest Your feet on my butt as I kneel in front of You to take notes.
Miss Kianna just laughs and sips Her drink before resting Her exquisite Utopia boots on sweet sugar’s yummy butt. With the 6′ metal heel of Her boot Miss Kianna teasingly toys with the gusset of sugar’s cute little thong as She makes Herself at home before answering the inquisitive minx’s questions.
Miss K: – First of all sugar, thank you, I was genuinely flattered being asked for this interview and considering who the sexy interviewer is …. *moans softly* .. I just couldn’t resist. Second .. Fierce ? I’ll totally admit to loving fiercely and I do feel deeply. My tears flow just as abundantly as My laughter and I know I’m spiritual, practical, soft and powerful. Perhaps all of those, in essence, does mean Fierce. I’ll leave that to your readers to decide. *winks*
Sugar: -How do You manage to always look like sex on legs? Is there such an idea as a “Mistress look” (someone once told me i ? needed to stop wearing high boots unless i was a Domme).
Miss K: – I have to admit … I look NOTHING like My avatar in RL. I had a pierced nipple, I had My septum pierced .. I have a tattoo and still have multiple piercings in My ears .. but that’s really the only obvious resemblance between My RL and SL appearance. Reflecting back on My late teens/early 20’s I had a very intense “Gothic” look and fast forward 9-10 years .. I’ve grown up a little … Apparently We have to look acceptable to some degree *snickers a little*. My SL appearance is really a reflection of that. I, very intentionally, try to create a balance between “Gothic/rock-n-roll chick” and “Sophisticated Business Woman”. I Truly believe that balance absolutely captures My aura, My personality, My ideals and My overall perspective as I take a journey, not alone, through My second-life. And do pardon My choice of words here sugar ..
but if My constantly experiencing a perpetual flood of lust, passion, desire and kink-filled thoughts of debauchery helps create/portray Me as “sex on legs” … so fucking be it girl !!! It’s true !!! As for the idea of a “Mistress look” sugar ? *pauses a moment to compose Her thoughts* .. You’ve followed My blog sugar and you may recall My joking how Domme’s don more fishnets than most trawlers on the Atlantic Ocean and how I get an imageof stilettos and riding crops, and faces so cold that ice couldn’t melt in the room where They sit. For Me, the Mistress look, it is exuding confidence. That’s the look ! Not the leather, latex, fishnets or the props associated with that look. I mean, really ?, I get dressed in the morning .. whether it’s going to the gym, going out with friends, going to work .. when I look at Myself in the mirror and My lululemons(spandex for those who don’t know) or My jeans make My butt look awesome .. My sexuality, My confidence .. EVERYTHING is heightened exponentially … you exude confidence, it’s reflected in Your eyes, not the outfit … That’s the “Mistress Look”! .. and by the way sugar, you can wear your yummy thigh high boots(.. and nothing else) around Me anytime !!!! I can’t help but scoff at the idea of telling someone to take off an article of clothing because it was “too Domme”. I want My submissive/slave to be confident, to feel sexy .. not to mention LOOK sexy! I really do get off on the notion that others look upon My property with wanton desire and My knowing they can never have what is Mine, well, it does pander My ego just a little. *winks*
(OK guys – here it got so steamy I had to compose myself a little. Once I felt relatively calm again, our conversation continued);
And when did you last think of sex – was it when You pulled on Your boots this morning?
Miss K: *giggles a little* – Seriously sugar? When did I last think of sex ? *laughs loudly* I was thinking of sex the entire time I was answering the last question … why do you think it turned into a long, unfocused, ramble ? Yeah, My mind was elsewhere, I couldn’t concentrate !!! (it was on your yummy thigh high boots!)
Sugar: – Oh my *pats the top of her boots while blushing a little* – How long have You known that You are a Dominant and what made You realize?
Miss K: – I’m not an introvert, not by any stretch of the definition but I do tend to keep to Myself. I’m not loud or “in your face”. I’m not flamboyant or draw a great deal of attention to myself. I am, however, confident when I have to be. I am not afraid to stand up for Myself OR OTHERS ! I’m hard-headed and I really do stand firm when it’s what I want or it’s something where I know I’m right. The Dominant personality has always been there and don’t mistake that as being confrontational, arrogant, egotistical or any other adjective used to describe a Dominant… it isn’t the case at all. I’m reasonable but at the same time .. I like things My way ! *laughs* Perhaps My “success” in earning respect as a Dominant comes from the fact that I’m fabulously unique and I have absolutely no need or desire to follow the “flock” or fit the stereotype of a Dominant. I had a conversation with nichole and amber some time ago about discovering their submissive nature/desire ect, similar to the question you just asked Me sugar. In that conversation “what made Me realize” was asked of Me and My realization of being a “Dominant”. Reflecting back on My childhood there really are defining moments … and don’t laugh … Miss Piggy instantly came to mind. It’s a personality in My childhood that I caused Me to be, basically, awestruck by that very personality and Her effect on Kermit and others around Her. I can say that similar childhood aspects have factored into My ABSOLUTE LOVE of Rope. Shibari to be more specific .. but that’s a topic for another time. *laughs*Perhaps the most defining moment in My own self-discovery was actually in My late teens. I had been dating a guy for a few months and I can picture this so vividly thinking back. We were both at his place(parents), up in his room .. and well, as teenagers do .. it was getting kinda hot *winks*. I remember pushing him back and telling him to sit back against the headboard as I sat at the foot of the bed. I basically said .. “… jerk off for Me.” He protested and quickly ranted about “I don’t jerk-off, I have never did it before, I’m not about to start now.”.. or something to that effect. Quite frankly, I said to do so or I was leaving. Well, I suppose the raging hormones and the .. umm .. obvious excitement in his pants left him with no other choice. *laughs loudly* It really was that easy sugar … he did. And for the first time in My life, I was in absolute control of a man. In My previous sexual encounters, I had never felt submissive; but I had never had this level of control either. I could feel the power of this lifestyle, and its seductive allure. I had him at My mercy. I watched, intrigued and so fucking turned on witnessing his body convulse in spasm as he struggled to hide the shame flooding his face. Again, it really was that easy.
Sugar: – You have female pets, would having male pets be out of the question?
Miss K: – Sugar sweetie that’s actually singular. I have a pet … My, “little one”, nichole. Amber, who was a big part of My SL, and I have parted ways. I don’t think this is the forum to dwell on the negative so I’ll leave it right there. Perhaps it’s a personal conversation you and I will share, off the record, at some point. *smiles warmly* I’m not searching for another Pet … Let’s make that perfectly clear before I continue! *chuckles a little as She repositions Her boots on sugar’s sexy butt and makes Herself comfy* As for a male “pet” ? ABSOLUTELY !!! My having female pets has been timing, circumstance .. nothing deliberate, nothing premeditated … I hasn’t been by design! I’m not much of a fan of labels. Straight, Bi-sexual, Gay/Lesbian ? I’m a sexual creature and I LOVE everyone! If I ever entertained the notion of another pet in My SL .. I would certainly be open to it being a male.
Sugar: – Are You a sadist?
Miss K: – It’s funny you ask if I’m a sadist right after the question about male/female “pets”. There really is something more sensual, more romantic in My sadistic nature where it involves other females .. although I like to think the intensity is just as powerful. My wrapping My fingers in nichole’s hair at the nape of her neck, pulling her head back … I don’t know if you have had your own hair pulled there sugar but it fucking hurts !!! *laughs* … add to that My whispering in nichole’s ear “you are My slut.” *…. long pause* Oh, forgive Me sugar, I was lost in a yummy thought for a moment *winks*. I often wear a whip in SL. In the menu there is a “flogger” .. of course, when I remove it from My hip “voila” it’s a flogger ! I really don’t get much satisfaction in the idea of physically bull-whipping another woman. I’m damned well sure I wouldn’t want to be bull-whipped !! A flogger on the other hand … the heavy thud of the long leather strands landing on your beautiful butt sugar, or the tips of those strands grazing your soft skin leaving a warm stinging sensation … that’s more My style. Enter a male pet and that sadistic nature is multiplied like a thousand times !!! Just thinking about his severe reaction to My severe action gets Me so wet. Myself and nichole where out at some sim some time ago and while there I received an IM from some guy thinking that Me, as a Domme, needed to be submissive to a Male in order to be a more effective “Dominant” to My submissives. *snickers* … what a crock of shit !!!!! In My usually, eloquent nature, I responded with something to the effect of “perhaps try trying a brick to your penis, drop the brick to the floor and then tell Me how that worked for you.”, which I shared .. in good humor … with nichole at the time. And yeah, I’m still waiting to hear how he did with that. *Laughs* So sugar .. am I sadistic? I am indeed but not violent and perhaps not as extreme as Most. Although I’m certain it would depend on the scenario and My mood.
(Sugar: OK dear readers, I promised you all a good read and isn’t it a remarkably interesting ride inside the rollercoaster of Miss K’s mind? I was totally meshmerized at this point and my hand softly slid between my thighs….before her words struck out like a friendly reminding slap on my blushing cheek)
Miss K: – Hey girl … I hope your butt isn’t going numb, I know My answers can be a little long-winded.
Sugar: – Miss Kianna….please rest assured my butt is in heaven right now! *coughs* I wanted to ask You – do You have a lot of rules and rituals – and if so, how do You like enforcing them?
Miss KIanna: – There’s the stereotypical rules in SL; kneeling in the Dominant’s presence, naked in the Dominant’s home, standing behind the Dominant in public, etc etc .. so many of the common rules are just such a cliche. I do appreciate them and the significance of them especially when they are done without reminder, without coaxing … when they are done naturally and without hesitation. The basics are fulfilling in that sense. I do have My own rules but I tend to individualize them based on My submissive’s own SL. Take something as trivial as shopping … My time in SL is MINE … MY submissive is also MINE … she/he wants to shop, it will be done after I log for the night or you ask permission to have some time to yourself. It’s a simple concept really. I value the time I have, at times limited, with My submissives and I expect their attention to be given wholeheartedly and undivided where possible. An example of a relatively simple rule that is individualized for nichole … Our times zones separate Us both by 2.5 hours. We do spend a great deal of time Together on a nightly basis but I normally have to leave for bed long before she does. The rule … the VERY LAST thing nichole is to do before logging out of SL in the evening is to send an off-line message to Mistress. Nothing specific … just a note about anything. Sometimes it’s just that, a note, other times it’s something very special. The idea behind the rule is that Mistress is nichole’s last thought as she leaves Second-life for the night and Mistress is in the girl’s thoughts as she cuddles into bed herself. It’s so yummy in its simplicity! There are other rules which would be considered “extreme” and I’m sure some of your readers would much rather I touched on those. However, I feel, the extreme rules fit into the stereotype of BDSM in Second-Life. In terms of My enforcing them sugar … I’ve actually been extremely fortunate in the submissive souls who gave Me the gift of their necks and accepted My collar. Rarely have I had to make an issue of rules not being met. Having said that .. I’m One Who makes sure She’s perfectly clear when I’m expressing and setting My personalized rules .. they’re NOT open to interpretation or negotiation !
Sugar: – What do you feel is your responsibility as a Domme to Your subsmissives?
Miss K: – Sugar sweetie, I honestly feel there is so much more, deeper and meaningful aspects to D/s than One barking an order or demand and expecting an action in return. Being accepting and respectful of the submissive soul is so much more important and it develops such a trusting bond …I absolutely cherish and respect the friendship that’s developed beforehand. I don’t randomly claim submissive individuals .. I NEED a personal connection and I like to think My submissive also needs that same connection. I consider a D/s relationship a partnership and in a partnership W/we are equals. I’m 100% Dominant and My partner is 100% submissive. *laughs* But really sugar … I believe, without hesitation, that My responsibility is to shatter My submissive’s perception of a deviant. I’m responsible for inspiring her, teaching her that I am neither dull or eccentric, nor morally corrupt or saintly but a Dominant soul maintaining a boundary between D/s education and intimacy in the fantasy-sustained interactions of Our Second Lives. You’ve known of nichole from Twisted Orchid, whether or not you both actually “know” one another .. *shrugs* .. I don’t know. The point is .. nichole has been wandering the D/s “Lifestyle” of SL, of and on, for about as long as she’s been in SL. That’s 6 years ! This is actually a fitting quote from My “little one” …. (used with permission of course!)
Quote Miss Kianna’s pet nichole: “You are most definitely inspiring, Mistress. It is truly from the heart when i say that. As You have mentioned about me in conversations, about me not being the same as so many other submissives in SL, You are so different than any other Dom/me i have ever met in SL. When we have had our more serious conversations, i have been so impressed at how You are so clear and well spoken and Your thoughts and questions are so well thought out. If You were to ask most of my past Dom/mes or even my friends, i am pretty confident that they would tell You that i do not open up easily, but with You, i feel a comfort in the way You ask me questions or tell me things and it makes it easier for me to open up and be me. You bring out my best qualities. As my Inamorata, You have already inspired me to want to learn more about my submission than i ever have in SL.”
Miss K: – .. that, sweet sugar, is My responsibility to My submissive !
Sugar: – The ideas of punishments always come across as one of great anticipation and excitement. But how would You punish a submissive who is excited by the idea of it?
Miss K: – Just imagine yourself in the throes of passion with a Male lover sugar. OK girl, your face says say so much! .. not that passionate !!! *laughs*
(ok here I was blushing again – ALL over!)
Miss K: – Really though .. just take yourself to an intimate moment with that very Male lover you are thinking of right now … Opps !! prematurely .. done !!!!!! and you are not even started ! OMG !!! He’s done, gone and you’re left .. unsatisfied ! That’s such an empty feeling .. sometimes even feeling undesirable. Enter the submissive filled with anticipation and excitement at the idea of being punished. It’s simple really sugar; Tease, torment, flirt shamelessly, elude to the idea of punishment and, then, walk away. Leave them wallowing in their pent up desires and longings left unfulfilled … leaving them to experience that very empty, undesirable feeling!
Sugar: – Tell me something that is deep dark and dangerous and deeply satisfying to You.
Miss K: *snickers* – .. ” say please!”
Sugar: – Please? *blushes again – dammit!!*
Miss K: – That’s simple ! Totally random, casual sex with a stranger. I’m not an attention whore. I don’t seek attention at all but that doesn’t mean I don’t love attention. I simply love being the center of attention!!! Now girl, take that totally random casual sex with a stranger, make “stranger” plural ! I think that says enough without My actually saying it. *laughs* I know that may not be dark and dangerous to your readers sugar .. but it is a tiny example of My sex identity. What I find dark and dangerous are very personal to Me. It’s something very intimate that I want keep to those close to Me. I wouldn’t want to skewer Anybodies perception of Me.
*winks as a playful giggles escapes Her lips.*
– Sugar, I will share this though, and I’m not going to elaborate …. but My experiencing rape fantasies has always been something “dark and dangerous” and often deeply satisfying.
Sugar: – You also mentioned good places to go in SL to experience D/S?
Miss K: – Yes sugar, in Our conversations, I have mentioned what I thought were good places to go to experience D/s. The dynamic of how BDSM venues operate here in Second-Life has changed so much. I’m going to use Twisted Orchid as an example here and I hope that doesn’t find Me in trouble or outlawed by its “Management”.*laughs* BDSM clubs, like Twisted Orchid, have turned into Dance clubs. Through no fault of their own .. it’s the ever shifting dynamic of Second-life. Advertise an “Event” with a fetish theme … a DJ and some dancers .. a prize or two and that’s really the essence of a BDSM club in SL now. We have a wealth of BDSM sims but most are constantly empty, some, even closing. It just seems, to Me, that a club will host an event or two a day and it will draw a crowd but the actual BDSM element is lost to some extent. The sad reality is that the majority of citizens in Second-Life, and not just the kinky, are so fickle. If theydon’t find stimulation instantly .. off they go! They are not engaged anymore and, unfortunately, I don’t know if that can be “fixed”. Twisted Orchid holds a place in My heart. I also tell others that it’s My “Home away from home”. I make a point every single day to visit, even if for a few minutes AND even if it’s empty! Perhaps the most significant reason for My attachment to it is the fact that I actually spoke to nichole there for the very first time back in December and I also met amber there as well a year ago. The significance of those meetings are not lost on Me. Not to mention that some of My best friends in SL were met there as well .. the sweet sugar vegas included. *winks* I would love nothing more than for that club to thrive and be more of a BDSM club like it once was as oppose to a “Dance club”. I could go on and on forever about that topic but I don’t think your followers would actually want to hear that rant !!! Heavy Bondage Club instantly comes to mind when I think of “places to go” … it is ALWAYS full of “lifestylers”. Most just parked there in hopes of being chosen from the faceless crowd … but it is a crowd none-the-less !
– Another that comes to mind, and sadly it seems to have slowed a great deal of late, is Mesmerize Dungeon. It’s actually a Store but it has a common area where many did gather once upon a time. I found that it was/is heavily populated with many from Europe. Some of the most amazing conversations about the BDSM lifestyle and kinks in general have come from chatting with a number of extremely kinky Germans !!! No surprise there ? *winks*
– House of V seems to be a VERY successful BDSM club. Perhaps the most successful of all. As it stands as a club .. I don’t think much of it. It’s actually too crowded. It lacks a personal connection. It’s a business machine more than anything and I can’t fault anyone for that. However, the bright spot, for Me, at House of V is the various “Discussions/Classes that they host in a small classroom setting far removed from the actual club. I try to visit a class when I have the time! … then there are a wealth of others but those three were totally worth mentioning !!!
Sugar: – I understand BDSM play without sex is not uncommon. But in a 24/7 relationship I take it it is as well a romantic relationship as a Ds relation?
Miss K: – You may be asking the wrong person for an answer to that question sugar … I fail at relationships! To be fair, I am an emotional person, who is very needy. I’m unhappy not getting attention. I’m even more unhappy having no outlet for My voyeurism, My exhibitionism, My control And My animalistic need to fuck someone with a giant strap-on in every possible hole I can slam it into. **totally said that for shock value!!!** If I was living a 24/7 D/s relationship sugar there would be a tremendous amount of romance. I need it and it can not be compromised. Even in My Second-life, the few hours nightly I spend with My “little one”, there has to be an element of romance. Even if it isn’t actually noticeable to others! The hint, the suggestion, the flirting with romance … for My part at least, is evident. I can not do without it. It creates a bond between both partners and that bond is something I constantly crave in My D/s Lifestyle. *sighs* .. “God, I hope that made sense to you sugar.”
Sugar: – Perfectly Miss Kianna! Are You romantically involved with Your pets or is Your life that of a Lady and Her subservient chambermaids?
Miss K: **laughs** – Well I guess I answered that just now but to add to that .. yes sugar, I am romantically involved with My pet. As a matter of fact .. Our very first actually intimate moment together was a very romantic, playful and fun moment that was as significant to Me as nichole’s proclaiming her commitment to Me publicly at Twister Orchid. It was a beautiful moment that I will take away from My second-life as a genuine bonding experience.
Sugar: – How much focus is a sub allowed to spend on her own needs?
Miss K: – From My point of view sugar .. A LOT ! Really !! I mean .. and I do truly mean this … I get the brunt of the work when it comes to D/s. Whether it is setting a task, a request, A scene .. or maybe choosing something to do or some place to go and that is with good reason! I am, ultimately, the One in control, and My submissive is the one who is generally doing My things. But being committed to each other, for My submissive to expect that I am always going to be not just in the game, but on top of it most of the time is just unrealistic. I don’t love the term 50/50 because I am a strong believer that both have to put in a 100% if things are going to work out … as I said earlier “I’m 100% Dominant and My partner is 100% submissive.” But essentially, My submissive should focus a great deal of time on her own needs. My submissive is as responsible, or more, to create the right environment for Me, the Dominant. To get Me in the mood, to please Me, to make Me feel good and in the mood to play. It’s not just a responsibility in My impression of things … it makes good sense for My submissive to focus on her needs by focusing on Mine … besides, the end result, would be a good time. *winks – then continues* and this may comes a surprise to you sugar … I have never had enough experience with a long term
relationship (which had a good chemistry throughout it for D/s … hence My “singular” reference to pets.), perhaps I don’t know what I’m doing anymore than a new submissive does. So to take the responsibility off of the Dominant, to Me at least, seems like the most likely way of getting what it is that a submissive wants the most. In essence My dear sweet sugar .. A submissive’s focus, for their own needs, should start with helping maintain the D/s environment. It is a partnership after all !
Sugar: – I love the idea of a good spanking – am i a subbie or just a bad girl?
Miss K: – I will NEVER apologize for being a sex freak sugar but at the same time I’m totally underfucked ! If it’s naughty, dirty, kinky or just plain wrong .. I want it ! Just because I love being fucked hard doesn’t make Me a submissive. I love rough sex. I love My hair pulled AND, Like you sugar, I love the sting of a hand on My ass when being fucked. I love the unbridled passion, the intense lust … I’m a Dominant, I know what I want and I am a bad Girl! Plain and simple!!
Sugar: – I get confused with all the different labels and philosophies i D/s – talk of training, personal growth through dominance and servitude, and categories of types of people (subs, slaves, painsluts etc). Is this urge to label and justify what may just be sexual needs – a morality issue?
Miss K: – That’s actually an awesome question sugar and I’m not sure how to answer that exactly. *pauses again to compose Her thoughts* I don’t think that there is any “one way” to enjoy this lifestyle sugar. Enjoy it in a way that fulfills you but do it ethically. Seriously girl, Think of it as a kinky buffet, take a little of this, a little of that, pass over what doesn’t appeal to you and come back for seconds or thirds of what you find especially yummy. I don’t want to be like every other Dominant .. I don’t want to be the stereotype, I don’t want to be labeled … My ideals and philosophies are MINE. That very thinking holds true for My submissive. I don’t want a submissive who is a stereotype. I want an individual who will inspire Me to be so much more than an outsider’s morality issue. And do pardon the pun but really … if you and I are not “hurting” anyone … why do We have to justify Our sexual needs ? I’d actually love to tell anyone looking in on Our chosen lifestyle feeling there’s morality issues to kiss My ass but I’m pretty sure they’ll fall in love .. then I’ll never get rid of them!
Sugar: *giggles* – Kinky buffet? That’s great for a girl with good appetite! And last but not least – if i was on all fours playing Your coffee table – would You at any time feel the urge to shove something up my butt or am I just flattering myself?
Miss K: – Well considering the very simple fact that We started this interview with the 6′ metal heel of My boot toying teasingly with the gusset of your cute little thong sugar … flattering or not .. the thought did enter My mind .. at least once. *grinning wickedly*
Sugar: – Thank You so much for Your time Miss Kianna.
Miss K: – My dear sweet sugar vegas .. you were My pleasure. *grinning wickedly*
And – with these words, our talk was over. Those last words made me swoon. I felt heavenly, I trust you did feel turned on reading this also. Now before y’all go running to grab Her attention, remember – I saw her first!! *laughs* Well no, really I didn’t BUT a girl can try right? Happy Easter!